affairs to remember

before i get into the tawdry details, i want to dedicate this entry to all the cheaters out there...thanks for helping me pay my rent by breaking hearts and wrecking homes.

i've heard it all: women cheating on their husbands, husbands cheating on wives, regulars spending money on other strippers on the down low...people lie all the time and unfortunately, i play a role in these indiscretions. it takes a lot for me to remain hopeful sometimes when it comes to love and trust after being exposed to such things. so rather than become jaded and cynical, i take the opportunity to turn it into a story. to clear my own conscience and remove the sense of responsibility that comes with knowing about these affairs. at least this way, i'm not the one keeping secrets. and if anything good can come of it, maybe someone will find it entertaining.
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one afternoon, a man walked into the store and looked around for a little while. nothing out of the ordinary since the men who come in never ask for help right away, even if they haven't a clue what they're looking for. so after the initial no-i'm-just-looking-5-minute-wander this guy admits "i guess i do need some help." i walk around to him and ask him what it is he's looking for. "i want something that's going to drive her crazy. i mean, i already do a good enough job driving her crazy but that's another story." i help him pick out some things and take them to the register. "so may i ask what you mean by you drive her crazy already?" the guy says, "well, i have to make this good because we can only see each other for another two weeks." i inquire, "what's with the time limit?" he says, "i'm getting married in two weeks and that's when the party's over." while i'm writing up his receipt (modern technology was on vacation that day) i ask him, "does your future wife live far away or something?" he tells me "no. she lives about two miles away." i just said something along the lines of "oh" and told him his total. i was obviously distracted since i tried to give him back the amount due as change. at least this guy-however unfaithful he was to his fiance-was honest when it came to me...a complete stranger. he pointed out my mistake and gave me the money back for the correct change. the lesson learned: money>love.

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the next cheater came in about a week after that and this time it was a female. early morning. and asked for help right away. she was looking for some whips and paddles for her "friend." we got to talking about domination and flogging. she said i made her feel comfortable. i believed her when she started to tell me more. turns out her "friend" was actually a co-worker. a man close to her in age yet married to a woman 16 years his junior. she told me all about how their relationship started out as most others...some flirting here and there, smiling at one another while others around them weren't paying attention, pretty innocent stuff.

"then one day, he came into the room i was working with a patient in and said to me 'when are you going to take me home with you?' girl, i couldn't believe that. a few days later we finally got together after work and that same night we slept together. he started opening up to me about some of the things he wanted me to do...about how he really wanted a woman to tell him what to do and beat him up a little bit but his wife wasn't into those kinds of things and she said there was something wrong with him the first time he brought it up so he stopped asking."

me: what kinds of things is he into?

"he comes over sometimes and just cleans my house. my son came upstairs one day all confused and said 'mama is he down there doin laundry?' (we both laughed) girl, he loves it. he always wants me to boss him around and talk down to him like call him names and all kinds of things like that. now he likes me hitting him. there was one time i really gave him a beating and he said 'oooh that was good. that felt just like how my granny used to whoop me when i was little.' i wonder where that comes from? why he likes that kind of thing."

me: a lot of psychologists say fetishes come from childhood. maybe when you beat him like his granny used to, he feels good because she used to take care of him, too. there could be a few different explanations. you could look it up on the internet or get books if you really want to understand it. it's not like it makes you uncomfortable does it?

"no. i actually really like it. it makes me feel so much better when i can just beat on him and boss him around."

me: so do you ever wonder why that kind of thing makes you feel good?

"not until now! that's a good point. i never thought of it that way. all i know is i'm happy and it makes him happy. he says he looks forward to coming over and always thinks about me when he's home. he even calls me and tells me he misses me. we just said 'i love you' to each other recently. lord, it makes me feel so much better to be able to talk to you about this."

me: well, obviously i don't think any of the things you do are weird at all since i'm exposed to it everyday. it's pretty normal to me. whatever makes you happy.

"oh and i am. i am so happy."

the moral of this story: love hurts.