3.12.10
must have been 1pm on a slow friday shift. man walks in who couldn't be more than about 5'3" wearing a dirty, forest green sweatshirt, plain baseball hat, jeans, and work boots. a stocky little guy but not intimidating at all--he totally had a woman's voice. he walks over to the magazines and shoots me a look on the way. he seemed a little uncomfortable and weird. something was definitely up with him but i couldn't quite figure it out. he grabbed something in the way of big tits and brought it up to the corner to pay. every time i made eye contact with him, he looked down. alright, weirdo. have a nice day.
i go back to what i had been doing and notice on the camera of the parking lot that his work truck hasn't left. i decide to check back in a few minutes. still there. i zoom in and see that this guy is definitely, 100%, without a doubt, pants unzipped, cock out, not wearing a seat belt masturbating. NICE. i've seen a guy pee in a can in his car, another try on a cock ring, but this was my first time witnessing straight up self-love. it might make me a terrible person, but i didn't want to do anything about it because the idea of some normal lady pulling up and catching him seemed hilarious to me. then my better judgment kicked in and i knew i had to do something. i called my assistant to tell her what was going on and that i was about to bust this dude. she was into it. i walked out through the back door and stared in through his window. i didn't get too close because i didn't know how he'd react. this guy was a complete moron. he had to have heard the door open because he looked up and started looking around his truck over his shoulder....in every direction EXCEPT mine. when he thought the coast was clear, he brought his head around to get back to business and caught me in the corner of his eye. so there i am, standing with a phone in my hand (which i'm sure he thought i was using to call the police) and the other hand pointing at him. i just yell at him "you can't do that in my parking lot. GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!" without even taking the time to zip his pants up, he was out. such a rush. would be into doing that everyday.
***update***
flashlight santa came in yet again. this time, right after my night shift relief arrived. she reads this so she knew who he was immediately. motherfucker was wearing those suspenders again. still gross. he bought another basketball pump...sup with that? anyway, he came in and i thought i may as well strike up a conversation with him and see if he's got anything good to say. i ask him, "hey did you ever find out that woman's name? you know, the one your friend knew someone who could find out about for you?" he stops and pauses for a second before responding, "oh you know i did have someone find out her name for me. my friend knows someone who works on all that computer stuff. and that's really all the information you need. i saw her playing one night and she had great hair. she's a violinist in the orchestra. did you know one of the oldest living professionals are conductors?" my co-worker and i told him no, we did not know that but it was interesting. then he said he was heading home to take a nap. before he left he said, "now i just need somebody to hold onto." and motioned with big, open arms. all the while, holding a bag containing a penis pump.
Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts
3.13.2010
the doctor is out
3.4.10
The Doctor
two women walked into the store around noon. one said "hello" when she saw me. the other raised her voice to an inappropriate volume and let me know "y'all should put an entrance in the back. i don't want nobody to be seein' me walkin in here." i don't understand why people like her ever come in to begin with. they're good for nothing but negative commentary and "can't believe" what they see. i wish i could tell them to either get over it or just get out. but i can't....so i kept my distance. and it ended up working out. sort of.
the quiet friend brought her purchase to the counter and paid. while she was waiting for her credit card to go through, she began a conversation with her friend.
polite woman: did lauren* ever tell you about that perverted doctor she used to see?
loudmouth: no. what doctor?
polite woman: she had gone out with this doctor a couple times and the second night they got together he kept on asking her "what kinds of toys do you have? let me see them? you wanna bring those over my place?"
loudmouth: he was all up in her business like that?
polite woman: then he told her "having sex with a woman feels like sticking your dick in warm oatmeal." he brought up that oatmeal thing a couple times at dinner and when they went back to his place he said he wanted to show her something. do you know he heated up some oatmeal and started jacking off with it?!
loudmouth: girl, that's nasty.
***update***
the slob with the flashlight came back and ended up buying the basketball pump after all
also on that day, my slave and corset man both called asking for me. i told the slave i was someone else because i didn't feel like dealing with him and i let my cross-dressing friend know that the lingerie i ordered still hadn't come in and to check back the following week.
***********
"Pam"
winding down to an hour and a half left of my shift and the phone rings. the voice on the other end belongs to a male. maybe an older gentleman...the kind of voice that would play over a holiday story on some kids tv movie..grandpa-sounding.
grandpa: hi. i'm a pre-op transexual and i've heard that you girls that work there really are pros when it comes to walking in heels and a couple of you really get into it. is this one of those girls right now?
me: [with no clue as to what he is talking about] yes it is.
grandpa: oh so you like to wear those heels? tell me, are you wearing them now?
me: of course i am (NOT)
grandpa: oh that's good. how high is the heel on those?
me: not too tall since i'm working, 4-inch stilettos with a half-inch platform
grandpa: oh yeah. do they hurt your feet?
me: they start to after a while but you have to suffer if you want to look good, right?
grandpa: don't i know it. i work at a club and you should see some of the boots i wear there. the guys that come in there, they like to see a girl limping around. the closer they see girls to tears, the more money they're willing to spend. some of those girls walk around in boots with 8-inch heels and open toes for hours. you can tell they're carrying their weight on the sides of their feet by the end of the night.do you like to wear boots?
me: yes, but i need to get some new ones.
grandpa: i've got so many different pairs of boots. what size are you? i wear a 7.
me: (this guy must be so tiny) i wear a seven, too
grandpa: i'll give you a pair of my boots. what kind do you like? i've got black, red, tan, white, all kinds of different ones. i have one pair with a clear sole and the platform is clear so when you lift up your feet, you can see them all squished into that boot. i make a lot of money with those. do you know what a corn is?
me: yes
grandpa: i have one on my right pinky toe. it's very large, you know it stands up high. i was wearing those boots one night and there was a man sitting by the door. and he was a dentist. he comes there quite often and everyone knows if they want to make some money to get his attention. he got me to take off my boots one night so he could see my feet and when he saw that corn do you know what he did?
me: he bit it.
grandpa: gasp. he did! tell me, how did you know?
me: i just had a feeling.
grandpa: well then he gave me $50 for it. just to bite my corn. he spent about a thousand dollars that night total. you could make some very good money if you came to work with me. now you said you like boots?
me: yes
grandpa: oh i love them. men do, too.do you have any callouses?
me: not really
grandpa: we'll get you one. i'll give you some boots to wear and give you a nice callous. very sexy and large. that way when you lift your feet and those men see that callous, they'll be dying to rub it for you. and they might even suck on it.
me: well that doesn't sound like a bad way to make money
grandpa: one month of working with me and i'm telling you, you'll make 5-6 grand. i want you to think about my feet. think about callouses, bunions, and corns. men love corns. can i call you later?
me: i don't give out my phone number
grandpa: would you call me later? i just really would like to talk to you some more. maybe you can come out to the club.
me: i have plans tonight but maybe i'll call you
grandpa: you don't have a boyfriend or husband or anything? because those girls don't last long at the club. they'll hold you back.
me: no. nobody.
grandpa: good. that's very good. here's my number (xxx)xxx-xxxx. call me pam.
The Doctor
two women walked into the store around noon. one said "hello" when she saw me. the other raised her voice to an inappropriate volume and let me know "y'all should put an entrance in the back. i don't want nobody to be seein' me walkin in here." i don't understand why people like her ever come in to begin with. they're good for nothing but negative commentary and "can't believe" what they see. i wish i could tell them to either get over it or just get out. but i can't....so i kept my distance. and it ended up working out. sort of.
the quiet friend brought her purchase to the counter and paid. while she was waiting for her credit card to go through, she began a conversation with her friend.
polite woman: did lauren* ever tell you about that perverted doctor she used to see?
loudmouth: no. what doctor?
polite woman: she had gone out with this doctor a couple times and the second night they got together he kept on asking her "what kinds of toys do you have? let me see them? you wanna bring those over my place?"
loudmouth: he was all up in her business like that?
polite woman: then he told her "having sex with a woman feels like sticking your dick in warm oatmeal." he brought up that oatmeal thing a couple times at dinner and when they went back to his place he said he wanted to show her something. do you know he heated up some oatmeal and started jacking off with it?!
loudmouth: girl, that's nasty.
***update***
the slob with the flashlight came back and ended up buying the basketball pump after all
also on that day, my slave and corset man both called asking for me. i told the slave i was someone else because i didn't feel like dealing with him and i let my cross-dressing friend know that the lingerie i ordered still hadn't come in and to check back the following week.
***********
"Pam"
winding down to an hour and a half left of my shift and the phone rings. the voice on the other end belongs to a male. maybe an older gentleman...the kind of voice that would play over a holiday story on some kids tv movie..grandpa-sounding.
grandpa: hi. i'm a pre-op transexual and i've heard that you girls that work there really are pros when it comes to walking in heels and a couple of you really get into it. is this one of those girls right now?
me: [with no clue as to what he is talking about] yes it is.
grandpa: oh so you like to wear those heels? tell me, are you wearing them now?
me: of course i am (NOT)
grandpa: oh that's good. how high is the heel on those?
me: not too tall since i'm working, 4-inch stilettos with a half-inch platform
grandpa: oh yeah. do they hurt your feet?
me: they start to after a while but you have to suffer if you want to look good, right?
grandpa: don't i know it. i work at a club and you should see some of the boots i wear there. the guys that come in there, they like to see a girl limping around. the closer they see girls to tears, the more money they're willing to spend. some of those girls walk around in boots with 8-inch heels and open toes for hours. you can tell they're carrying their weight on the sides of their feet by the end of the night.do you like to wear boots?
me: yes, but i need to get some new ones.
grandpa: i've got so many different pairs of boots. what size are you? i wear a 7.
me: (this guy must be so tiny) i wear a seven, too
grandpa: i'll give you a pair of my boots. what kind do you like? i've got black, red, tan, white, all kinds of different ones. i have one pair with a clear sole and the platform is clear so when you lift up your feet, you can see them all squished into that boot. i make a lot of money with those. do you know what a corn is?
me: yes
grandpa: i have one on my right pinky toe. it's very large, you know it stands up high. i was wearing those boots one night and there was a man sitting by the door. and he was a dentist. he comes there quite often and everyone knows if they want to make some money to get his attention. he got me to take off my boots one night so he could see my feet and when he saw that corn do you know what he did?
me: he bit it.
grandpa: gasp. he did! tell me, how did you know?
me: i just had a feeling.
grandpa: well then he gave me $50 for it. just to bite my corn. he spent about a thousand dollars that night total. you could make some very good money if you came to work with me. now you said you like boots?
me: yes
grandpa: oh i love them. men do, too.do you have any callouses?
me: not really
grandpa: we'll get you one. i'll give you some boots to wear and give you a nice callous. very sexy and large. that way when you lift your feet and those men see that callous, they'll be dying to rub it for you. and they might even suck on it.
me: well that doesn't sound like a bad way to make money
grandpa: one month of working with me and i'm telling you, you'll make 5-6 grand. i want you to think about my feet. think about callouses, bunions, and corns. men love corns. can i call you later?
me: i don't give out my phone number
grandpa: would you call me later? i just really would like to talk to you some more. maybe you can come out to the club.
me: i have plans tonight but maybe i'll call you
grandpa: you don't have a boyfriend or husband or anything? because those girls don't last long at the club. they'll hold you back.
me: no. nobody.
grandpa: good. that's very good. here's my number (xxx)xxx-xxxx. call me pam.
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